By Milica Yaksich

  For some time now we have been slowly tracing the steps up the ladder of St. John Climacus, learning how to identify our weaknesses and what is necessary to overcome them, that we might ascend to the heights of spiritual grace. It is a long and difficult climb that can only be done one step at a time. The next three steps present challenges that are like double-edged swords in that, even the solutions are challenging. They strike at the very heart of what God requires of us and what the priorities should be in this life if indeed we aspire to greater spiritual heights. In step16 on Avarice we are confronted by not only how much we hold onto the things of this world, but by how much they hold onto us. In step17 on Poverty we find a cure to the spiritual woe of step 16, but it is not an easy pill to swallow, and step 18 on Insensitivity teaches us that regardless of learning and accomplishment or what we may think we know, or how high we may think we've climbed, we must never take anything for granted.

STEP 16: ON AVARICE

  In the book of Matthew there is a story of a young man who approached our Lord and asked what was required of him that he may have eternal life. Our Lord answered that he keep the commandments, to which the young man replied that he had done so all his life. Then the Lord told him, "If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me. But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions." (Matt.19:21,22). It is not a sin to have possessions, rather the sin is in how tightly we hold onto them and the hold that they have on us. The Lord understood this and wanted us to understand when He told His apostles "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God." (Matt. 19:24). God wants us to be happy and prosperous and successful in this physical world in which we live, but at the same time He wants us to understand that this world and all that is in it is perishable and not a worthwhile trade for eternity. That is why He said, "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal." (Matt. 6:19,20). It is a question of priorities and it is a question of trust. Ironically on the U.S. dollar we find the words "in God we trust" but do we really put our faith and trust in God or in the almighty buck? St. John states, "Avarice is a worship of idols and is the offspring of unbelief. It makes excuses for infirmity and is the mouthpiece of old age...The man who has conquered this vice has cut out care, but the man trapped by it can never pray freely to God." It is not only the cliché: 'the more you have: the more you want', rather it is also that - the more you own: the more you have to worry about, care for, maintain, preserve, protect, insure. The responsibilities of ownership suddenly outweigh everything else and the concerns associated with hanging on to what you've got leave little space for other cares. How sad is the parent who works so much overtime that he/she rarely spends time with the family, is a stranger to his/her own children, is a stranger to God. I often hear the excuse that parents are working all those long hours for the children, that they are sacrificing for them, to give them a better life, but have those parents really balanced the scales? Have they sacrificed more than they realized, and in the end what have they truly given their children? Have they given them their time, love, values or have they robbed them of warm memories and the eternal treasures of the heart in order to burden them with the perishable treasures of this world. The dispair associated with financial loss or ruin can only occur when there is little or no faith and trust in God. Those who believe know that God will take care of them. They are at peace because they understand that the setbacks in this life are only temporary. When St. John says that the man trapped by avarice can never pray freely to God, he warns us that possessions and the issues associated with them are a distraction. If our lives are complicated and overwhelmed by financial and material concerns we cannot pursue a meaningful relationship with God. This means simplifying our lives, lowering our financial obligations, freeing ourselves to pray and love and give glory to God through how we live our lives as much as how we pray! Things make us mean sometimes. St. John writes, "Waves never leave the sea. Anger and gloom never leave the miserly." Let's be real. Putting Scrooge aside, how many times have we been selfish or harsh toward someone: "no, you can't borrow that" or "careful around that!" or "Don't! you'll soil it, or break it or scratch it, etc" because we were being a little too precious about something 'new' or just some thing we really cared about? How many times have we been angered or saddened about the loss of something. How many times have we had a falling out over money or the lack of? When disaster strikes is the first thought: "What will it cost me?" or "I just finished paying for that!" or "Thank God everyone's all right; things can be replaced!" Imagine if we worked as hard on pursuing God and the treasures of heaven how much more value we'd place on our souls. Then the loss of material possessions wouldn't anger, sadden or concern us. If our priorities are straight the things we own will not distract us from God or get in the way of our salvation. It may be difficult for a rich man to enter heaven, but not impossible. With God all things are possible. What is interesting is when we consider charity. Some time ago I observed that in proportion to their incomes the less affluent are often more generous contributors to charity. You would think that as people became more affluent they would be in a better position to be more charitable, more generous, more willing to share their prosperity with others, but nothing could be further from the truth. As people earn more they spend more, get deeper into debt and are less prepared to give. Instead of living modestly within their means and having the means to be generous, people are often consumed by prosperity to the extent that they are impoverished by it both materially and spiritually. In one sense they have more, but because of avarice they get deeper in debt so that they actually have less liquid assets, less cash to spend, share, or give away. St. John writes, "The collector (of money) is stirred by charity, but, when the money is in, the grip tightens." This is a spiritual illness that hardens the heart and strangles the soul, so that a man can nolonger love God or see the image of God in his neighbour. In the scriptures we are reminded by our Lord Jesus Christ that everything we do to another, we have done to Him and everything we give to another, we have given to Him. (Matt. 25:40,45) St. John then goes on to explain just how serious a spiritual sickness this is, "Avarice causes hatred, theft, envy, separations, hostility, stormy blasts, remembrance of past wrongs, inhuman acts and even murder."

STEP 17: POVERTY

  As much as avarice is a spiritual illness, poverty is a spiritual cure. St. John explains, "Poverty is resignation from care. It is life without anxiety and travels light, far from sorrow and faithful to the commandments. The poor monk is lord of the world. He has handed all his cares over to God, and by his faith has obtained all men as his servants. If he lacks something he does not complain to his fellows and he accepts what comes his way as if from the hand of the Lord. In his poverty he turns into a son of detachment and he sets no value on what he has." For someone who has taken monastic vows the way is clear and simple. Those of us who live in the world and have to support ourselves and others, who have families and responsibilities cannot be expected to neglect our obligations and responsibilities or go homeless. God doesn't expect us to deny ourselves or those who depend on us to the extent that extreme poverty is as much a distraction from God and prayer as avarice. It is clear in the scriptures that God gives us gifts (talents) which He expects us to nurture and that the squandering of those gifts is a terrible sin against God. Each of us is expected to strive to reach our full potential and no one can do that if he is being strangled by either too much debt or too few resources. The idea is to create a balance, to live according to the old maxim: "nothing in excess". It is written in the Bible: "Every man shall give as he is able" (Deut.16:17). God is fair. He wants us to understand that we should not place too much importance on the wealth of this world because it tempts and corrupts. At the same time He does not expect us to give up everything to the extent that we would perish or be wanting. Each of us is expected to live within our means and to give according to our means. We need to understand that everything we have is from God and to trust that God will provide everything that we need. When we understand that then there is no need to care about the things of this world. Then there is freedom and peace of mind and spirit.

STEP 18: INSENSITIVITY

  We are all aware of 'the test of time'. In the beginning for those newly awakened to the spiritual life everything is amazing, inspiring and sincere. No challenge is too great, no task too difficult. One hardly even notices the time passing when one prays with ferver and zeal. The fear of God and the awareness of His almighty presence is so intense, so consuming that reality itself is transfigured. In time, though, there is a danger that St. John warns us of: "Insensitivity is deadened feeling in body and spirit...Lack of awareness is negligence that has become habit." Insensitivity is not to be confused with dispassion which is an exalted state and which we will examine near the top of the ladder. St. John explains, "The insensitive man complains about what has happened and does not stop eating what is harmful. He prays against it but carries on as before, doing it and being angry with himself...His lips pray against it and his body struggles for it. He talks profoundly about death and acts as if he will never die... He has plenty to say about self-control and fights for a gourmet life. He reads about the judgement and begins to smile, about vainglory and is vainglorious while he is reading. He recites what he has learnt about keeping vigil, and at once drops off to sleep. Prayer he extols, and runs from it as if from a plague. Blessings he showers on obedience, and he is the first to disobey. Detachment he praises, and he shamelessly fights over a rag... He gorges himself, is sorry, and a little later is at it again...He teaches meekness and frequently gets angry while he is teaching it. He denounces laughter, and while lecturing on mourning he is all smiles. In front of others he criticizes himself for being vainglorious, and in making the admission he is looking for glory. He looks people in the eye with passion and talks about chastity...He glorifies almsgivers and dispises the poor." This may seem like a severe case but it is frightening with what ease and speed one can unwittingly slip into this state. One must always be vigilant, always aware that our actions will never measure up to our words, always striving to improve and realizing that we're not there yet. We can never be satisfied, never consider for a moment that we've 'arrived' or that we are in any way experienced in deep spiritual matters. No matter how hot and plentiful our tears are we can never repent enough. We must not become complacent, or take for granted that we know enough, do enough, pray enough. In fact, there is very little that we do know and it comes down to experience. Each of us can only talk about our own struggle to love, to forgive, to repent, to fast, to give, to hope and believe, to see the goodness and not just the negative, not to judge; the struggle to be the best that we can be and never to think more of ourselves than we are. According to St. John, Insensitivity describes herself like this: "Those who are under my sway laugh when they see the bodies of the dead. At prayer they are stony, hard, and blinded. In front of the altar they feel nothing. They receive the Holy Gift as if it were ordinary bread...I am the mother of Laughter, the nurse of Sleep, the friend of the Full Stomach. When I am found out I do not grieve, and I am the ally of Fake Piety...Big meals keep me going, time adds to my stature and bad habit fixes me in such a way that he who possesses me will never be rid of me. But if you are always on the watch and think of eternal judgement, maybe I shall let go of you to some extent. If you discover why I came to be within you, it will be possible for you to do battle with my mother, since she is not the same for all. Pray often where the dead are laid out and paint in your heart an indelible image of them, traced there with the brush of fasting. For otherwise you will never defeat me." In the Holy Scriptures the pharisees knew as much as could be known about the law, but as is evident in scripture this superficial and cold knowledge had little to do with faith. Orthodoxy cannot be reduced to a set of rules and rituals. We must live it with our hearts and souls for it is life eternal, life transfigured by faith, by the grace of God! For this reason we cannot just be 'Sunday Christians', content to devote a couple of hours a week to God and then go about our lives the rest of the time as if one had nothing to do with the other. If a man found out that he had a serious life-threatening illness he wouldn't casually get around to treating it once a week or when he had time because he would realize that he was running out of time. Our souls, our very lives are at stake and we are running out of time. Do not allow lack of awareness or the habit of neglect to rob you of your life with God. I pray the words of faith you read in the pages of Istocnik help and guide you on the royal path. May you and those near and dear to you know the love, hope and peace of true faith in this the season of the Birth of Our Lord. Rejoice, the Saviour is Born!