By Milica Yaksich

  In the previous two issues of Istochnik we embarked on a journey upward, toward a higher understanding of spirituality and faith and how we might draw closer to our own salvation, the heavenly kingdom and God. Some religions teach salvation as something that miraculously and effortlessly occurs in an instant like some blinding revelation or rebirth. Yes, it is true that in some cases a sinner has at the final hour repented and been saved, but none of us can know what awaits us and we may not have the opportunity to even know that our time has come, yet alone the time and awareness in that final moment to repent. Orthodox Christianity was in the earliest days known as "The Way" because it was always understood to be a journey. It has always been disturbing to me when I've heard the challenge "Brother, are you saved?" declared in arrogant tones as if any of us can know for certain how God will judge us in the end! Did He, Himself, not warn us that there would be those who would cry "Lord, Lord" and say how they had done good things, preached in His name, etc. and His response would be "I do not know you". Salvation and Christianity is a life-long journey, a way of living in order to live life eternally. If the way we live is not pleasing to God then we cannot expect God to let us go on living that way forever! By the same token, we cannot know if we are living according to God's will if we do not take the time to learn and understand what that is. According to the Holy Scriptures there will be those who will be deluded into thinking that they are saved and everything is just fine until it is too late. The world we live in encourages not taking anything too seriously and it also encourages much else that is not pleasing to Our Lord. The Ladder of Divine Ascent clearly maps out what is expected of us and how we can work to attain inner perfection. Let's face it, what's more important in the greater scheme of things: some short-lived attempt at superficial physical perfection and pleasure in this world only or the satisfaction, peace and joy of perfection in this world and forever in the next.

  Previously, in the last issue we examined Step 7, Mourning. If you remember one of the benefits to "mourning" was: "...Those who have succeeded in making real progress do not become angry and do not bear grudges.". Step 8 focuses on Meekness which requires that we put aside anger. Anger is a big problem. We have all felt anger and we all know that that is a very negative emotion. It takes a great toll and is very harmful. At first it seems impossible to overcome and manage but it is necessary and unless we do, we can go no further. In order to free ourselves of anger, we need to understand why we get angry. It's usually because we put too much emphasis on the importance this world, how we appear to others and how we are treated. It is the result of being overly prideful: thinking too much of ourselves and of what we can be or do. All right, so you don't see yourself as some conceited megalomaniac but let's be honest here. What is it that spurs your temper? Is it when someone says something to offend you? Perhaps that is because you concern yourself too much with what others think of you. Is it when someone disagrees with you? Do you always have to be right? Is it when things just don't go your way? Perhaps you are pursuing too much perfection in this world.

  Anger pushes us further away from God and strips us of any armour or protection we may have against evil. It opens wide the door for evil to enter the soul, harden the heart and confuse the mind. St. John advises: "anger the oppressor must be restrained by the chains of meekness, beaten by patience, hauled away by blessed love.". The first step is to not respond when spoken to in an angry way. If someone speaks to me in anger, I will never respond in an angry tone of voice. Furthermore, I will never let myself speak in anger, to anyone, ever.

  These are the first rules for those striving to attain meekness. An angry tone is never effective. It may provoke attention and initially even reluctant obedience but never real respect. Children or subordinates (employees, etc.) who are constantly yelled at or addressed in anger will rebel. Wouldn't it be better to inspire and nurture feelings of respect and love rather than feelings of resentment and dislike.

  The next step toward meekness is to not let yourself think angry thoughts against those who speak in anger to you. By thinking angry thoughts, holding ill feelings toward someone, even contemplating revenge, you do the most harm to yourself and apart from spiritual harm, you are also out of control. By allowing someone else to "make you angry" you are allowing what others think of you to control you. Would it not be better to be free? Would it not be better to not even notice those who offend you? This is true inner peace. True meekness cannot be angered, controlled by anger or affected in any way by it, because it is oblivious to it. The truly meek do not even notice the opinions others have of them and thus they cannot be controlled by either rebukes or praise.

  St. John explains it like this: "Take anger before the tribunal of reason and have it examined in the following terms: Wretch, tell us the name of your father, the name of the mother who bore you to bring calamity into the world, the names of your loathsome sons and daughters. Tell us, also, who your enemies are and who has the power to kill you.". And this is how anger replies: "I come from many sources and I have more than one father. My mothers are Vainglory, Avarice, Greed. And Lust too. My father is named Conceit. My daughters have the names of Remembrance of Wrongs, Hate, Hostility, and Self-justification. The enemies who have imprisoned me are the opposite virtues - Freedom from Anger and Lowliness, while Humility lays a trap for me."

  "On the eighth step the crown is freedom from anger. He who wears it by nature may never come to wear another. But he who has sweated for it and won it has conquered all eight together. "

  Step 9 deals with one of the daughters of anger; Remembrance of Wrongs, and St. John describes her this way: "Remembrance of wrongs comes as the final point of anger. It is the keeper of sins. It hates a just way of life. It is the ruin of virtues, the poison of the soul, a worm in the mind. It is the shame of prayer, a cutting off of supplication, a turning away from love, a nail piercing the soul."

  Anger is bad enough, but if we hang on to it instead of rejecting it as something evil, and then let it grow inside us, distorting and exaggerating it as memory so often does, then we are guilty of Remembrance of Wrongs. We're all familiar with it. Sooner or later everyone has had some experience directly or indirectly with it: the hurt that never goes away and gets replayed over and over again like a broken record. Whether you were feeling it or had to listen to someone else tell of it you know how tortuous and destructive this is. It takes over and soon drives everything good and positive out, turning the sufferer (and they do suffer) into a pathetic self-pitying, overly sensitive and non-functioning mess. It destroys relationships and often prevents them from being restored. It destroys love and the ability to love and in its place leaves bitterness and complete vulnerability to evil. So, what's the cure, or better yet the prevention?

  St. John suggests that it is best not to get angry in the first place. As we discussed in Meekness, to not notice wrongs against us. "The man who puts a stop to anger has also wiped out remembrance of wrongs". When we do get angry, we should immediately recognize anger as evil and reject it. "Forgive quickly and you will be abundantly forgiven. To forget wrongs is to prove oneself truly repentant, but to brood on them and at the same time to imagine one is practicing repentance is to act like the man who is convinced he is running when in fact he is fast asleep.".

  We should remember that ultimately all that is evil and all that inspires evil and sin is Satan and his demons. That is why we say hate the sin, not the sinner. Those who insight us to anger are not the real source of the problem, rather evil is. I once read an interesting book about 'problem people' and how to deal with them. They are the ones that no one seems to be able to get along with, the thorn in your side, the contrary and unapologetic. The book suggested that as we could never change them or be rid of them that we had to find the solution in ourselves. We had to change so that these people could not anger, irritate or concern us any longer. By changing how we treated them, they might in turn change as well. St. John recommends: "Let your malice and your spite be turned against the devils". In other words, fight against evil and sin instead of people.

  If all else fails, St. John, in an effort to save even the weakest of us from the fires of hell suggests: "If after great effort you still fail to root out this thorn, go to your enemy and apologize, if only with empty words whose insincerity may shame you. Then as conscience, like a fire comes to give you pain, you may find that a sincere love of your enemy may come to life". Such is the ninth step. "Let him who has taken it have the courage henceforth to ask Jesus the Saviour to free him from his sins."

  I pray that all find peace, love and joy in this wondrous season of Our Lord. May we all Forgive and Love one another so that Our Lord can Forgive and Love us. Amen.